I have been assailed recently by ranting responses to my blog commentaries by a coward who calls himself John Smithson (as he does not have the courage of his convictions to go by his real name). He has been ably assisted by his offsider a palliative care doctor who calls herself Alisha D.
This is my response to the most recent barrage of abuse which includes among other judgements that I am destined for eternal damnation because I have chosen to marry a woman:
More than twenty years ago I did not make my ordination promises lightly John but I did have niggling doubts at the time that I would not be able to go the distance. That didn't stop me giving it my best shot. But I did tell some friends and family that I was dubious. Those admissions have been the basis of my claim for dispensation from celibacy which should come in due course. BUT I was ordained and by the action of the Bishop laying his hands on my head he continued that unbroken line of succession from the first Pope and I was made a priest forever.
But when I got married and broke my celibate promises, that will not mean that I am not a priest.
I will be technically a married priest.
Being married means I am no longer good enough for the Catholic Church to use me as a priest. When I concluded that chastity was impossible for me and I actively prayed for God to show me a life partner I met Josefina, fell in love and married her. As many know, I decided not to declare my marriage publicly but chose to use my secret marriage as leverage to prove the fallacy of clerical celibacy. No one in the Church hierarchy knew I was married yet they claim to be monitoring the life of priests and know what they are up to. But when I declared that I was married, they immediately punted me from the priesthood.
They would rather employ men who are homosexual or child abusers who have confessed their waywardness than utilise a man who loves a woman and wants to have children.
For the aging hierarchy its all or nothing. It is the ridiculous rule of the Catholic church that says I can no longer minister as a priest just because I have fallen in love (not lust, as some of your judgemental like-minded people think who have condemned me to eternal hell fire) and decided to commit myself to that woman I love with all my earthly heart.
The Church however is not as judgemental as yourself. I sat quite peacefully with my bishop when he encouraged me to seek laicisation. I do not choose laicisation. It is imposed upon me by the closed-minded ecclesiastics who don't want a church member they can't order around.
They will allow me to receive a sacramental marriage after I get my dispensation and authorise me to receive Holy Communion again after the new Pope gets around to sending me a little piece of paper. You see John how easily ridiculed the man-made rules of the Catholic Church become? I was told in theology that once ordained, I am a priest forever regardless of my inability to live celibately. I am however no longer permitted (by the men who currently run the church) to celebrate the sacraments because of that inability to be asexual. The Church has a distored view of sex. You must either refrain from it totally or you must have as much of it as possible. You are only allowed to have NO CHILDREN or A LOT. Isn't that strange? Haven't you ever wondered why there are so few maried people who are canonised. So that kind of implies that all those people who don't have sex are more likely to become saints. But having sex makes you less likely to become a saint. The same sexless men who make these rules are the ones whom you listen to for advice on how to live your life.
For many years I was giving marital education to couples preparing for a life time of sexual intimacy and I had never lived in a loving relationship. I was such a fool making justifying platitudes such as "you don't have to be divorced to know that divorce hurts. You don't have to kill someone to know about murder.." but its not true. I never knew about relationship until I was in a relationship. Most of the priests I met who told me, "I have given up family, love, career etc" have never really given up love and career because they never had either. You can't give up something you don't have. Its purely hypothetical sacrifice.
So, I do understand priesthood, celibacy,love and relationship because I have lived all these. I believe to understand humanity you should be living a human life. Anyway these are my thoughts and justifications for what I have done John. I don't believe God is going to condemn me to hell for making an adult decision to follow my human calling to love.
God is very real to me John and as I receive His presence each day in the Holy Eucharist, I know He is gracing my day with many blessings. Should the priest deprive me of His Presence by refusing me Holy Communion as Dr Alisha D wants to happen, I simply go home and celebrate the Eucharist for myself.
I know that Jesus will come down from Heaven when I celebrate the Eucharist regardless of whether or not the "church" gives me permission. And I feel His Presence with me which proves to me that He does not agree with "the church" that says I should not be celebrating the Mass.
Did you know that even if I am 'laicised' I am still allowed to anoint or give the sacrament of confession to a person in danger of death. Isn't that weird? Why would they say, "we are depriving you of your sacramental powers because you are having sex.. but if someone really, really, really needs them, then you are allowed to be a priest".
Don't you think the incredible shortage of priests in the world right now means we should be keeping the ones we have? Regardless of whether they can be celibate or not..
http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=58636
ReplyDeletewhat simplistic tripe..
DeleteIs that the best advice you can give?
Fr. Kevin Lee is correct. Although I disagree with him on his other comments, he is right that the laws regarding dispensation of priests and nuns really water down the rule of celibacy. No doubt Fr. Kevin will have numerous examples (correct me if I am wrong father) of nuns and priests he knows who have received dispensations. I'll even go out on a limb and speculate that Fr. Kevin probably knows priests and nuns who got dispensations for ridiculous reasons and started dating or got married before they even received their dispensation. The Church laws regarding dispensation for priests are only outdone in their folly by the easy of getting an annulment. As a layman I already know so many people who have received annulments for the stupidest of reasons. I mean I know people married for 15 years and then get an annulment by doing some mental stretches to invent some circumstance with fits into a ground. The church laws regarding annulments make the theology of divorce which is an infallible teaching of the ordinary mag, a joke. Fr. please back me up here. How many people can you honestly say get valid annulments without lying or stretching the facts. Do you agree that getting an annulment is easy to the point that I would go so far to say that anybody who searches hard enough in their current marriage can find some way to include themselves in a valid ground for an annulment. Yes, that's how silly and easy it is. St. Robert Bellarmine pray for us.
ReplyDeleteIn other news, Fr. I think you were out of line in your comments regarding the Holy Father and should reflect on them a bit more.
Thanks
Brett
Fr. Kevin: "Don't you think the incredible shortage of priests in the world right now means we should be keeping the ones we have? Regardless of whether they can be celibate or not.."
ReplyDeleteNo Father, I charitably disagree. We should never lower our standards just because men and women are too selfish to answer the call by the Holy Ghost to follow Christ in the religious life.
We should not keep priests who are child molesters, practicing homosexuals, those who disobey their vow of celibacy and anyone who is dissident or liberal and teachers error.
Sure the temptation to keep the few priests we have left is there, but there have always been many sinful people and therefore many sinful priests, as there is a lot of sinful laity.
Even if we are to a point where there are only a few priests left and the vast majority are gone, so be it. The priest is standing in persona cristi, and anybody who is not willing to give up their mortal sin needs to be let go off.
OK Qintas I am not saying we should keep the sinful and deviates (that is the view of the hierarchy who know how expensive it is to get new priests and maintain the hope that they can reform the offending ones) but what I am referring to are the men who through human frailty have decided that they can no longer live celibacy and have chosen to marry. They can still spread the Gospel effectively (probably even more so becos they now have the assistance and support of a spouse). They were good parish administrators and probably very caring and pastoral. Why throw them on the scrap heap while the Churches are calling out for priests??
DeleteWe need to get rid of all the poison and disease. There is no room for weak people in the priesthood and no room for any filth.
DeleteAnyone who disobeys the magisterium or the bishop needs to be defrocked and let go of immediately.
If you knew you could not take the vows then why did you take them? Nobody forced you right? Don't you think you're basically lying to get your dispensation?
ReplyDeleteI'm a Christian, but even so it seems to me that there is nothing wrong with the 'man made' rules as you call them. What's wrong is that people abuse them and twist the scenario to simply fit into a category?
I'm not a Catholic myself (I'm a Christian), and I just do not understand why you come into the another Church? I used to attend an Episcopal Church headed up by a former Catholic priest who got married, and I also know the Lutherans and Methodists allow Catholic priests to come in. You would not need to give up your job, and in fact you and your wife will be taken care of. While I myself do not agree with all of the theology of the Episcopal Church, at least it is Christian and you will be saved since you accept Jesus as your saviour and do not rely on your good works.
I think you answered your own question James.. I could not join another denomination because I have a different theology. The protestant churches (called protestant becos they are protesting) do not believe that Mary has any significant role in Christianity while we Catholics believe that as mother of the Saviour she has a pivotal role in salvation and is worthy of special veneration. I could not belong to a church that doesnt respect my mother and refuses her devotion or love. Its not like God said,"Eeny, meeny, miney moe! I need a virgin in Nazareth.. you will do!" I know God chose Mary as the one who would be requested to give birth to His Son. So she is special. Also the Eucharist. Those other churches do not believe in the Presence of Jesus in the Mass.. I do. I know its the main reason for the priesthood.. the bring Jesus' Presence into the world. The word Priest (in latin) comes from the word Pontifex which means "Bridge fixer". The priest fixes the bridge between God and humanity. And I wish I was still able to exercise that role in my own beloved Catholic church.. I think I did a good job!
DeleteDear James, i didnt KNOW I couldnt do it. I hoped and prayed that I could. I even did so many crazy sacrifices to show God how much I wanted him to grant me the grace of continence but it still was a heavy cross and I failed frequently (and not in having sex with women if you can read between the lines). I believe that those penances and the frustration I felt for all those years was robbing me of my joy which made me a cranky priest who made compromises with the bottle as a substitute. I may have believed I was being celibate by refraining from genital relationships but was I or other priests being celibate when we have all the luxuries of life provided for by the church (using the donations of widows) and aneasthetising our desires with alcohol?
DeleteThis is what happens when you put your faith in yourself and not in God. This is what happens when you rely on your good works and not on the the sufficient sacrifice of Jesus. I follow the word of God. If the bible says to pray to the dead I would and sadly it does not. The only place Catholics get that from is the Apocraphya and Maccabees which should not be in the bible anyway since its filled with errors.
Deletehmmm...interesting testimonial.
ReplyDeleteFr. Kevin, how did your family receive the news about your hidden life? Did they eventually come around to accept it?
Not very well TB. My parents didnt talk to me for 6 months. And I still have siblings who dont talk to me. I imagine it was all a big shock for them. BUt in time I know they will all accept the contribution to the new reformation which will result in a more sincere version of Catholicism (I pray for this..)
DeleteDear Brett thanks for reading and commenting. How did you find this blog? As I have written in my book, the whole annulment process makes a mockery of marriage. It is soooo easy to get one. All you need is a good priest to go into bat for you. He can fabricate all the necessary information and even give you all the hints you need in order to convince the Tribunal that you have a valid case (even if you dont). I know becos I did it so many times.. I helped people get annulments that they were not really entitled to but the fact was they were never going back to their original spouse so what was the point of insisting on them staying unmarried? Yes its a joke and the church knows it is but they make $800 for each application regardless of whether they grant one. So in fact the annulments are a nice side business for the rapidly emptying churches.
ReplyDeleteMy seminarian friend sent it to me. He was rather angry about your comments about seminarians being wimpy since we was a champion triathlon winner at university and is a black belt in both Jiu Jitsu and Jeet Kune Do. I read the posts, and told him you were not referring to 'all seminarians' just the ones 'you met'. Also while I disagreed with your views on matters of faith and morals, which are the infallible teachings of the Church I found myself agreeing with basically everything you have said about canon law and the church discipline. I go to an FSSP parish btw. I returned to my faith several years ago and became disillusioned by the amount of liberal priests and liturgical abuses I saw. I'm not one of those crazy schismatics or traditionalists like the SSPX but when priests tell me the Eucharist is symbolic and breach on the pulpit that the resurrection is metaphorical I think its time to leave.
DeleteIf you had to give an honest estimate, how many annulments do you think are really valid? 30%?
It really comes down to common sense. If somebody is married for 10 years and applies for an annulment only because the person has left them doesnt that smell fishy? I mean if the other party never actually left the house then the personal applying for the annulment would have continued to live in an 'invalid marriage' all this time supposedly doubting the validity of the marriage? Would you agree Fr? That's rubbish.
Also, I don't really hold your actions against you , because I've done bad things in the past myself (not that I condone any of it because I dont). I just dont think its appropriate to judge the heart of another. Who knows the stress you would have been under. And lets face it, being a Catholic in a Western country isnt exactly an easy or fun thing. Honestly father, would you not agree that a good 80% at least of the parish dont actually believe their faith fully? I mean its different in my FSSP parish but before I noticed that there were even people who did not believe in the divinity of Jesus...
DeleteI don't think its my place to therefore look at the spec in another persons life. Before my reversion to the Catholic faith I did many bad things. It was only after a colleague gave me a copy of the Imitation of Christ and an autobiography of St Therese that I started taking my faith seriously and went back to Church after about 7 years away.
Great books and life changing too. I gave my brother Brendan the Imitation of Christ & he told me he immediately buried it under his socks in his sock drawer, so insulted was he that I should give him a spiritual book as a Christmas present. he was not at the time a very good person or religious. He admits it was some years later that he picked it up and read it and said, "it changed my life." He is now the Parish Priest of Howlong but very disappointingly does not communicate with me anymore.. I did however give him many indications that I was leaving priesthood..
DeleteDear TB my family have not yet accepted my change in life although I know in time they will. Perhaps the Royal Commissions findings will convince them that I was right to distance myself from the pedophiles and rapid homosexuals that have infested the Church. I know when they see my baby they will love her. Its a transition for them to see their son go from priest to normal lay person is a difficult stretch. They cant see why I would give up such a high calling. to accept the normalcy of marriage and fathering a child.
ReplyDeleteBut its easy to see the necessity of this change if they realise that I am just a human being, not a saint and saints are very rare creatures..
Must be painful not having your family around. Are they devout Catholics - believing in everything the Church teaches etc.
ReplyDeleteYes! They are extremely loyal catholics.. daily communicants.. but these are often the most judgmental. They wish to condemn to hell anyone who transgresses the teachings of the church, rather than pray for the conversion of sinners. I dont believe I have been disloyal or disobedient to God, but to the authorities who are pretending to be loyal catholics themselves. My parents are good people who have been misled by decades of devotion to religious authority. Even when the nuns and brothers were abusing us and beating the religion out of us (yes we have faith in God INSPITE OF the religious who taught us) they would defend the abuser insisting that we must have done something wrong to deserve the beating or for upsetting the religious!
DeleteDo they still talk to you or have they just stopped all contact completely?
DeleteHonestly TB it was quite painful to be shunned by your own blood even if I had done the wrong thing or embarrassed them deeply. I tried to apologise but its difficult if you are shut out. Eventually my father allowed me back in saying, "well if Jesus can eat with sinners, I guess I can have a cup of coffee with one.." and then we had a good chat.
DeleteI'm confused. I've never studied theology but doesn't comment sense tell us that if somebody lies in order to get an annulment then the annulment while 'paper valid' is not actually valid, and especially not valid in the eyes of God? Wouldn't that make it a mortal sin and basically your damning yourself to hell unless you fix it up? Is that right Kevin? Are annulments a common thing?
ReplyDeleteOf course Melissa. I never advocate lying to get an annulment. People know what the institution is looking for so they fabricate details to strengthen their case. yes annulments are numerous especially for people who want to work in Catholic schools. They seem to be the rising category. Most Catholics feel that they don't need this "piece of paper" and so they conceal their previous marriage when they come to a new parish or apply for a job, a baptism or enrolment in the Catholic school.
DeleteOK let me clarify. I did not recommend for annulment anyone whom I did not think deserved one. I do not however agree with the ease with which most annulments are given (not easy however to come up with the $800) or the invasive nature of the process. Let me say that I met many couples who desperately wanted to receive the Eucharist that they believed to be the living soul, body and blood of Jesus that He said they needed for eternal life (John 6:51ff).
ReplyDeleteBut because of mistakes they made in their youth, ie. marrying the wrong person due to many differing motives (each need to be addressed independently) they were barred from full participation in the Mass. I believe that Jesus allowed the sacrament of confession to forgive ALL sins based on complete contrition. Why can't this apply to a mistake in whom we marry? Surely God's forgiveness is not limited to whomsoever the church deems worthy (ie. those who can pay for it). Yes money did become an obstacle for many. But also I never encouraged people to divorce another. it is often not their decision. Look the more I write right now, the more difficult it is to explain without details. I will leave it for another day. Suffice to say, I believe in all the Catholic teachings but I am sure many others who hold authority in the church dont. They just pretend in order to hold that authority and of course they preach it. Jesus wants us to be authentic. I am sorry if my authenticism does not suit you. No I did not lie to God. I did make mistakes and concealed my actions and motives from those who make decisions in the church. but as the book will reveal, those actions have done enormous good. Can you justify murder to save a nation? Well I am justifying deception to save a Church.
To your martial artist seminarian friend Brett, I apologise. I hope he retains his masculinity as he parades in his long soutane or his flowing silky vestments. BUt he will soon find himself surrounded by effeminates and priests who will be finding him attractive. Perhaps he has already been approached. I know of a certain priest who prides himself on his attractiveness to seminarians and ironically few of them who have been assigned to his parish for pastoral work have gone on to get ordained... not because of a loss of vocation but out of disgust at being propositioned by a priest! I do however find that your friend would be in the minority. I was playing A Grade rugby league when I was in the seminary (and in my early years of priesthood). I was bench-pressing over 200kgs and swimming from Fairy Bower to South Steyne practically every day of my 5 years in Manly (attempting to suppress my urges of the flesh by depleting myself of sexual energy). I have since been told by a psychologist that all I was doing was increasing my testosterone levels and therefore making it harder for myself! Anyway, with all my outward display of masculinity I was not off-limits to the gay community that was over represented in the seminary. I was lay on in bed and had my bottom pinched as I came from the showers. My seminary experience would not differ greatly from many before me or after. The Church really needs to allow heterosexual and married men into priestly ministry if the Church is to remain relavent to a largely ignorant society.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I need to make a case against compulsory celibacy Anonymous. I believe the current crisis of abuse and pretence is doing enough to show the necessity of an overhaul. I am praying that the new Pope will make the change very early on in his pontificate. I suspect any forward thinking person would see the writing on the wall for the Church's survival. I was at Mass this morning and there would have been half a dozen "Aussies" out of a church full of people. The majority are Filipinos, Islander, Maltese or other ethnic origined immigrants. Aren't they Aussies too? I hear you thinking. I am meaning those who make up the greatest proportion of the local population.. people whose parents and grandparents were born here. Not many of them believe in the Church anymore because they have seen the hypocrisy for generations. The new arrivals are yet to learn of it..
ReplyDeleteNo harm done Father. I actually have a fair amount of sympathy for you and find myself agreeing strongly with you. I actually like a lot of the things you post and I think unlike other people I have read your posts on meditations and the liturgy readings. I think what surprises me is just how orthodox and faithful some of the things you say are. For example I wanted to refute all of the comments of James but you did a fine job there yourself. BTW james I would advise you check out the coming home network and the conversion stories of the numerous protestans who have become Catholic. Regarding seminaries you are wrong father. Your to fast to take an extreme approach based on a bad experience. I've heard horror stories and Ive heard amazing stories. I must kindly say that you are at times a bit fallacious in your reasoning on some matters. I have no doubt that since there are 1 billion Catholics there will be the good, the bad and the ugly and seminaries are no exemption. Thats just life really. My friend loves his experience. He says that there is indeed a large and I might add (and feel free to back me up here) POWERFUL homosexual community but he says that was part of the modernist liberal heretical movement which was absolutely rampant during your generation Father. He says they are very influential and spread there heresy but in terms of his seminary, there's not even one homosexual he knows off because in fact they screen them before they enter. He of course goes to a traditionalist seminary (in full communion with Rome of course) and I suppose thats the whole point of new orders. To rid the Church of the vermin that often creeps in. So although there is a lot of truth with what you say, its not all that simple and certainly not as bad as you say and not the full story. There are problems but its not a blanket or common thing.
ReplyDeleteThanks Brett for chiding me gently. Yes I may be making judgements without justification. I have not set foot in a seminary for 2 years so I dont know what is the current state of affairs but I do know the history. Homosexuals are still greatly enticed to live a life of dress up and priestly pantomimes. There is a lot about the life of a priest that is appealing to the weaker kind of men who shy from hard work and challenges. The priesthood does not actually encourage free-thinkers either and they shun people who look like they might have a unique perspective on priesthood. They are looking for rule followers and disciplinarians. That does not mean they exclude lazy men either as that weakness of spirit is also able to be molded into a 'follower'. The Church is not looking for leaders, but followers. What kind of church do you end up with this conglomerate of humanity representing Jesus Christ at the altar? I doubt that its much different from what we see in politics..
ReplyDelete